Daniel J. Benor, MD, ABHM

I have had some phone sessions with John Payne, a Transgenerational Healing therapist, to work on residual issues of my own relationships with my deceased parents. I am pleased with the results – helping me to clear more layers of the onion of residues of difficult relationships I had with my parents, particularly as a child, but also into my adult life.

I very much identify with Payne's observation in The Healing of Individuals, Families and Nations:

Family Constellation work bridges the gap between psychotherapy and shamanism, for in such constellations the dead are given a voice and resolutions can be found. The nature of the Soul is to evolve and grow; it cannot do so when its burdens are shouldered by others, especially if those others are descendants. (p. 111)

I have known that my own difficult relationships with my parents were not due to intentionally negative behaviors on their part. My parents' problems were the result of their own difficult family relationships. In turn, the warps in their emotional structures were derived from their parents' emotional problems… And so on, back into untold generations of troubled relationships and traumas, perpetuating emotional problems over countless generations…

Transgenerational Healing offers tools for us to neutralize and disconnect from such toxic residues, processing and clearing them within the workshop re-enactments of family constellations. What has been most helpful to me are what I call the 'releasing affirmations' employed in this process. Here is a sampling of several types of these affirmations:

The representatives of members in earlier generations acknowledge ownership of and responsibility for issues that were problematic and that left emotional residues during their lifetimes.

Examples:

1. Payne to both Parents: Say to your children, “Whatever happened between us, leave it with us. It has nothing to do with you, and together we are still the parents.”

2. Payne to Great-Great-Grandfather: Look at your great-great-grandson and say to him, “This guilt is mine, all of it. I alone carry the consequences. Leave it with me.”

The representative of the client, or the client herself/himself disengages from the issue, with an affirmation releasing responsibility for the problems.

2a. Payne to Client 1: Say to your Great-Great-Grandfather, “I respectfully leave it with you” and bow your head as you do so. 

Having disconnected from the emotions and memories of these issues, the client then asserts positive affirmations:

3. Client: "I take all that was good between us and give it a special place in my heart."

4. Payne to Client: Say to your husband. “It’s a great pity that things went the way that they did, because I loved you very much.”

5. Payne to Mother A: Say this to your daughter, “I honor the part of your father that I see alive in you, and it’s good to see.”

6. Payne to Mother B: Look at your daughter and say to her, “It was my fate, I couldn’t avoid it, I did it for my mother. It has nothing to do with you. Leave it with us.

These affirmations from Transgenerational Healing suggest helpful ways that affirmations can be developed for use in individual therapy with WHEE: Whole Health – Easily and Effectively, both for use as focusing statements and as counteracting affirmations.

A dialogue enacted between the client and those with whom there were conflicts can be staged, with the client playing both his or her own role and then alternating playing the role of the other family member. This is often helpful in sharpening the focus around the issues and in helping clients to connect more deeply with the emotions that surround their issues and relationships. The process may be further deepened by having the client play each role while alternating sitting in one or the other of two chairs that face each other.

This two-chair dialogue allows the client to connect deeply with the role and emotions of people with whom s/he had been in conflict. When the client then uses WHEE to release his or her own feelings, the release is accompanied by greater compassion for the person with whom there had been problems.

The replacement positive affirmations of WHEE can include many of the types of positive affirmations suggested by Payne.

Payne, John L. The Healing of Individuals, Families & Nations: Transgenerational Healing & Family Constellations (Trans-Generational Healing & Family Constellations series), Forres, Scotland: Findhorn 2005.

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You may reproduce all or parts of this article in your journal, magazine, ezine, blog or other web or paper publication on condition that you credit the source as follows: Copyright © 2008 Daniel J. Benor, MD, ABHM   All rights reserved. Original publication at WholisticHealingResearch.com where you will find many more related articles on this and similar subjects of wholistic healing.

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