Meditation (March 2008)

Embracing the place of resistance

It is not unusual, when engaging in mental exercises designed to introduce us to new ways of being, for all of the old patterns about how this is unacceptable to rise up in unified argument.  Keep in mind that there is a natural law operating here.  Every form that exists, including our habituated patterns of thinking and behaving, has a built in self preservation instinct.  Therefore, all the reasons “why not” will naturally come to the surface in an effort to maintain the status quo.

My experience has been that to engage in argument with these facets of ourselves is futile.  What we end up with then is simply an internal battle waged between two aspects of ourselves.

However, it is possible to disengage from the old way of being.  Remember that we feed patterns of behavior and emotions with what we are thinking.  It is improbable that we can arbitrarily stop thinking about something, but it is possible to shift our thinking to something else.  I find it particularly useful to ask whether the thought I’m having is actually, definitely true.  If not, I entertain the possibility of another possibility.  In this way, we can effectively derail our thinking from a maladaptive track to a more productive, useful, and truthful one.

The following meditation is designed to work deeply with the resistances that may come up in opening to new possibilities. 

Seat yourself in a comfortable position with your journal and pen nearby.

Allow yourself to sink more deeply into yourself.  Bring your focus onto your breath.

Follow its rhythm – breath in – breath out at your own pace.

Gently bring your awareness floating down more deeply into yourself on your breath.

Pause

Now be aware of the internal space and sensation in your body of that which you are longing for.  Notice the familiar sensations there.  You might seem to be a certain age.

Pause

Very gently now, imagine what it would feel like if you were getting what you are longing for.  What would that feel like?  You might imagine a particular someone saying something you’ve always wished you could hear.

Notice any resistance that arises as you imagine getting your needs met in this way.  Any arguments, or reasons “why not”. 
Notice how this feels in your body.

Pause

Bring your attention to this part of your body and ask what it needs.  What is it trying to accomplish for you?

Listen.

Pause

Now imagine that you are standing outside of yourself, and seeing, from the outside, how you are working to help yourself from this perspective.  Perhaps it is a message you accepted as true. Perhaps you are striving to protect yourself. 

From the outside, observe what is true here.

Pause

Offer, now, from your outer, wise perspective, a way that could better meet this deep need. A way more helpful; more kind.

Pause

Now, come back into an awareness of being in your body, getting the need met that your resistance was asking for.  Imagine what that feels like.  Take it in. 
Feel it as deeply as you can.

Pause

Stay in this state as long as you like, noticing anything at all that comes up.

Pause

Now, gently, gently, as you continue to feel these sensations of getting your needs met, come back to this room at this time and make any notes to yourself that you would like to, to anchor your experience.

It is helpful to remember that all places of resistance are [working ALT wanting] to perform some function for us.  In making an effort to understand and work with these positive aspects, we can get all parts of ourselves moving in the same direction best designed for our wellbeing.

This meditation is found in the book, “Mindful Eating” by this author.  For CDs and books by Mary Ann Wallace, MD, visit: www.maryannwallace.com.