Book Reviews (Feb 2010)

Rosamund Stone Zander and Benjamin Zander. The Art of Possibility: Transforming Professional and Personal Life, Boston: Harvard Business School 2000.   206 pp   $22.50       

I love this book! This is now one of my favorite books to recommend and to give as gifts to friends and colleagues.Rosamund Stone Zander is a family therapist and painter, and her husband, Benjamin Zander, is the conductor of the Boston Philharmonic – a volunteer Orchestra that is rated among the best in the world, where most of the other orchestras in this league are salaried. Over the years of their professional and personal collaborations, Ros and Ben have developed approaches for reframing challenging situations in positive ways, so that people who might otherwise end up in conflict are able to find their ways to negotiate mutually acceptable and satisfying resolutions to their disagreements.

Simple steps are detailed for re-conceptualizing prickly and knotty issues so that both sides discover ways around apparently insurmountable blocks and discover cooperative, mutually satisfying resolutions to problems. Much of their approach encourages the development of positive attitudes and expectations about dealing with such situations.

Each chapter is richly illustrated with personal anecdotes of how the methods Ben and Ros recommend have been successful in diverse challenging situations. Here are but a few of the many gems from this sparkling book:

An apocryphal story

A shoe factory sends two marketing scouts to a region of Africa to study the prospects for expanding business. One sends back a telegram saying,
SITUATION HOPELESS STOP NO ONE WEARS SHOES
The other writes back triumphantly,
GLORIOUS BUSINESS OPPORTUNITY STOP THEY HAVE NO SHOES.

Ros and Ben point out that when we get our backs up, much of what we assume to be fact is actually a reality that is created in our imaginations. By keeping this in mind, we allow ourselves to open to new possibilities in our negotiations.

A simple way to practice it’s all invented is to ask yourself this question:
What assumption am I making,
That I’m not aware I’m making,
That gives me what I see?

And when you have an answer to that question, ask yourself this one:
What might I now invent,
That I haven’t yet invented,
That would give me other choices? (p. 15)

Reframing one's situation in a major way:

You define yourself not as a piece, nor as the strategist, but as the board itself, the framework for the game of life around you. Notice we said that you define yourself that way, not that you are that…

When you identify yourself as a single chess piece – and by analogy, as an individual in a particular role – you can only react to, complain about, or resist the moves that interrupted your plans. But if you name yourself as the board itself you can turn all your attention to what you want to see happen, with none paid to what you need to win or fight or fix.

The action in this graceful game is ongoing integration. One by one, you bring everything you have been resisting into the fold. You, as the board, make room for all the moves, for the capture of the knight and the sacrifice of your bishop, for your good driving and the accident, for your miserable childhood and the circumstance of your parents’ lives, for your need and another’s refusal. Why? Because that is what is there. It is the way things are.

You ask yourself, in regard to the unwanted circumstances, “Well, how did this get on the board that I am?” or, “Now, how is it that I have become a context for that to occur?” You will begin to see the obvious and then the not-so-obvious contributions of your calculating self, or of your history, or of earlier decisions that landed you where you are, feeling like a victim. This reflection may bring forth from you an apology that will knit back together the strands of raveled relationships. And then you will be standing freely and powerfully once again in a universe of possibility. (p. 146-7)

This book is very highly recommended for anyone in the helping or managerial professions, as well as for anyone wishing to improve their negotiating skills in their personal lives.

Review by Daniel J. Benor, MD
IJHC Editor in Chief

Richard Flook with Rob van Overbruggen. Why am I sick? What's really wrong and how you can solve it using META-Medicine®, Bosmin & King's Lynn, UK: MPG Books Group 2009. $29.99  258 pp  Endnotes 7 pp  Refs cited by author but not provided in book.

This book is a MUST READ for anyone exploring mind-body connections. Richard Flook, a Master Trainer in NLP has helped to develop Meta-Medicine® a method of identifying and releasing the neuropsychological roots of pain, stress and distress.A Meta-Medicine® practitioner clarifies when and where in people's lives they were traumatized and how those traumas imprinted themselves in their bodymind to cause psychological and physical symptoms and diseases. Such shocks include the following elements: they are unexpected, dramatic and isolating, and the person has no strategy for dealing with them. Once having identified these crucial issues, a person may use any of a variety of techniques to release them, such as NLP, WHEE, EFT, etc.

What makes this approach and book unique are the brain scans which demonstrate rings in particular areas of the brain associated with the symptoms. For instance, a person with lung disease with demonstrate a ring in the area of the brain related to lung functions. This is very exciting, pioneering confirmation of the mind-body connection.

Right and left brain hemisphere functions are affected by stressors. When a person experiences a major stress, this may block functions in one side or the other. When both sides are affected, symptoms are more likely to manifest. Identifying and clearing symptoms related to each side of the brain leads to rapid releases of the symptoms and illnesses.

I was fortunate to be able to work with Richard at the Healing the Healers Conference in Iceland in October, 2009. Richard helped a woman identify traumatic issues in her lives that manifested in bodymiind expressions as a bipolar disorder. We used WHEE to release aspects of these issues, and hopefully will be able to observe changes in the course of this woman's life.

I have one serious criticism, however, of Richard's theoretical framework. He identifies the levels of Mind, Body, Spirit, Social and Environment as defining a person's life experiences. Do you notice any important element missing? In my personal experience and in helping others resolve their life challenges, difficult Emotions are crucial to identify and resolve.

This is a landmark book that will be a help to anyone seeking to understand and address the mysteries of health and illness.

Review by Daniel J. Benor, MD
IJHC Editor in Chief

Friedman, Philip. The Forgiveness Solution. San Francisco, CA:.Conari Press 2009  52 pages  $16.95   

The Forgiveness Solution is not a book to read, as much as it is a journey to experience.  Most of the book consists of exercises designed to connect the reader with his or her own true Self or Inner Being, mapping out the pathways form fear to love.  Friedman’s basic philosophy is summed up here:  A lifetime of personal and spiritual growth and practicing psychotherapy has led me to understand that underneath all distressing emotions is the core emotion of fear, which is itself a lack of love.  Love is the core positive emotion that we experience when we are connected to our inner Being or true Self.  When we feel separate from our inner Being or true Self, we experience fear. … The essence of our Being is love, and our journey through life is a quest to return to our core, which is love (page 49). 

He draws on perspectives and techniques from transpersonal psychology, spiritual healing, energy medicine, visualizations, and forgiveness research to create a comprehensive protocol for emotional and/or mental distress.  Each exercise assists the reader in releasing fear, anger, judgment, scorn, blame and so on, making room for love and light.  Personally speaking, Friedman’s perspective makes a lot of sense and it seems to cut through a lot of psychological complexity that may bog us down on our journeys.  Sad?  Angry? Confused?  Bitter?  Afraid?  Use forgiveness of self and others to get rid of all the garbage that obscures your beauty, allowing your natural joy, love, and light to shine forth.  The underlying simplicity of Friedman’s approach will appeal to those readers who are no longer interested in trying to analyze the roots of their pain, and wish instead to simply step into the present in a joyful way.  Once we can really internalize that “every communication is either an expression of love or a call for love” (page 5o), our relationships can begin to evolve, long-time grudges can dissolve, wounds can heal, and we can learn to love unconditionally, starting with ourselves.
 
However, it must be said that readers of The Forgiveness Solution must be able and willing to devote some time and effort to actually doing the exercises on a regular basis – affirmations, visualizations, self-acupressure, emotional freedom technique sequences, letter writing, journaling and prayer.  Just sitting down and leafing through the book will probably not result in any meaningful shifts.  But for people who are really motivated to make changes in their life – releasing fear and embracing love – this book could be exactly what the doctor ordered. Practicing psychiatrists, psychologists, therapists and counselors will find this book a treasure trove of useful exercises that they can prescribe to their patients and clients, helping to shift the focus from the therapeutic process to producing real results by connecting people with their capacity to love self and others.
Blessings,

Review by Elizabeth MacKenzie, PhD
Lecturer in the Health and Societies Program
University of Pennsylvania
Fellow of the Center for Spirituality and the Mind