Making my way through my journey down here in New Mexico.  I haven't written any thing "on purpose," but wanted to share my experience last week with you.

I work as Director of Operations in a medical clinic in a little mountain town in northern NM called El Rito. I'm walking down the hall last week and am stopped in my tracks by one of our patients.  The man's jeans were hanging from his frame, his back bent as he took each painful step.  Uh, oh... looking just like my husband, Kemet, looked in the weeks before he died.  But it was the look in the man's eyes, that look that says "I'm tired of this pain and I'm scared" that pushed me over the abyss. 

Emotionally, mentally and even physically, I was back with my husband in June of 2006, watching him struggling to walk to the back deck to enjoy the sunrise with a cup of coffee that he couldn't even drink anymore. I knew that Grief was fast on my heels.  Thinking to myself "maybe I can outrun it, I'm having a great day... this can't be happening today."  As if Grief was throwing the cherry on top of her creation, my boss then calls and asks me to phone the funeral home (same one where my husband had been taken) to check on services for a co-worker's family member.  Tah-dah!  I'm now officially at Grief's mercy.

When I got home, I again grieved the loss of Kemet.  It also happened to be Halloween, his all-time favorite holiday.  I decided to meditate and hang on to the happy memories of Halloweens past.  After my meditation, I was in the kitchen warming something up for dinner, when I felt a shift - viscerally and spiritually - about how I looked at grief.  And I wrote...

I'm pretty sure this came from Creator. I figured I should share it with anyone who has Grief come visit their hearts and souls.

Blessings to us all!
Katie Meara

The will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you.

An Unexpected Visit

Katie Meara

My Old Friend, Grief, tapped me on the shoulder today.
"Hello, Beloved" she said, "I haven't visited with you for a while.
Recognize me
Honor me
Love me"

My Old Friend, Grief, is beautiful.
She is soft and yielding,
A changing form of ethereal light.
She is sacrifice.
She is compassion.
And She can pack one hell of a punch.

She has soothed my exposed, soft underbelly.
She has held me tight when my body was racked with the sobs that come all the way from my toes.
She knows me as no one else knows me.

And what lessons and gifts She has shown me.
I know that my heart is truly loved.
My faith tells me to have no fear, knowing there are blessings ahead.
I have more compassion for myself and others.

And She says to me,
"I remind you that you are, and always have been, loved."

"I have shown you what grace looks like"
"I will always be here when you need me.  When you need to visit that deep place within and mourn it, I will protect you."

My Old Friend Grief will be a lifelong companion.
Her beauty and compassion will come to visit at my invitation or Hers.
I have made my peace with Her.
I hug myself and embrace our union.

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Blessings

Dan