The universe has a disturbingly wicked sense of humor. When asked to write about my experiences as a healer, instead of a series of miraculous cures to impress the audience, all that came to mind was a worryingly long string of disasters. "So much for the beckon of fame and fortune!" The idea was quickly shelved in a fit of pique but I was about to learn that you can't escape destiny. There's no such thing as failure - you can always serve a a bad example. "Hmmm," I thought to myself, "Very amusing, you guys! So you kept me out of prison to serve as a bad example? Thanks for that vote of confidence!"

Eventually however, my ruffled feathers settled down and I realized, rather begrudgingly I admit, that Head Office actually had a point. Time and again we hear that Healing causes no harm when done with the right intention. This maxim however does not allow for ingenuous naivetŽ , frank personality disorders and the weird warps of circumstance. Believe me, I know - which is precisely why they chose me, rather than you, to write this article. So, dear friend, take a deep breath and relax back into the safe comfort of your armchair. Allow me to serve you with a sample of instructive examples from the little known manual entitled 'How Not To Do Healing.'

The most frequent issue that causes trouble, and I can't emphasize this enough, is a lack of properly informed consent. We are rather relaxed about obtaining consent in the UK compared with our American cousins but that might change yet, particularly if there are any insurers reading this. For example, a gentleman sat down in the chair. "OK" I said, "Just close your eyes now and gently relax." Relax? He couldn't even spell it. His eyes were screwed shut, his teeth clenched to the point of compromising his airway and his shoulders were pasted onto the ceiling. He just about managed a reluctant flicker of breath every thirty seconds or so. "You seem a little... er... tense there," I observed. "I'm waiting to pass out," he gurgled. "Pass out??" "Yes, I've seen them do healing at church. I thought you had to pass out for it to work!"

The misunderstanding was easily corrected, unlike the next incident. This man had been referred to me by a medical colleague and I was utterly delighted -- acceptance at last! He suffered from a chronic ear complaint and his doctor wondered if I could help. After the treatment we had a little chat to finish off. "Are you going to do my hearing test now?" "Pardon?" "Are you going to do my hearing test now?" A long, awful, excruciating silence ensued. "Aren't you the audiologist then?" "Er, no - I'm a healer." "A what?" Save yourself the same embarrassment and make sure that each patient knows exactly who you are, what you do and what's going to happen during the session -- and just check that you both agree which planet you're on at the moment - you never know what they're thinking.

One more point. Never, ever underestimate the importance of spelling out instructions. Use monosyllables if necessary. This really did happen to a lady healer (no, not me in this story, thank goodness). A gentleman came for healing. "Just slip your things off and pop up on the couch", she said. He did exactly as he was told. Yup - she turned around to a splendid vision of full natal glory. "I didn't mean everything!" she gulped. "But I always strip off for my Chiropractor," he explained, completely nonplussed.

Now we all have individual preferences, philosophies and comfort zones and fortunately most healers are aware of the importance of patient choice. Does the patient want to receive healing sitting up or lying down? Are they comfortable with touch or would they rather be left alone? Make absolutely sure that you allow for these differences or you'll end up in an oversized vat of very smelly donkey-doo.

Take background music for instance. Music is a powerful healing tool, fostering happy contented thoughts and positive emotional connections. So, wishing to create a peaceful ambience, I bought a tape. Gentle melodies floated softly over the hushing babble of a mountain stream. It was beautiful. Images of pure clear water washing away the stains of stress and anxiety flooding through the room. Everyone loved it. Everyone except Mr.B. He lay on the couch as relaxed as a metal poker encased in concrete. Bless him, he persevered to the end and only revealed a lifelong water phobia as he left the room. By then it was too late to engage in post-traumatic counseling.

The physical care of your patients is paramount. I once watched a demonstration of healing on a lovely old lady. She was utterly relaxed. So relaxed that she slid off her chair onto the floor. The healer was completely tranced out and didn't notice. Neither did the old dear. She'd fallen asleep and only woke up when the storm had passed and she was returned to her sitting position. "Oh, that was lovely!" she sighed, "Soooo relaxing!" It's a good thing she didn't break her hip and wake up in hospital.

Also be sensitive to the effect of surroundings on your patients. A room festooned with large iron crucifixes or pictures of your Red Indian guide may be a comforting source of inspiration to you but might frighten the life out of an unsuspecting newcomer. No, I quite agree that we can't be all things to all people, but please just tone it down a bit. Likewise, take care of your personal demeanor. Garlic, sweat, dinner stains and hangover fumes are not conducive to relaxation and neither is fancy dress. Having watched, aghast, as a vision from hell, draped in floor length crushed velvet and a voluminous black hat, poised with menacing crimson talons over the head of her next healing victim at a public demonstration, I realized that public image is everything. Yes, of course the healer was expressing her own individuality but surely there has to be some restraint when representing a national organization?

A final caution on the topic of patient choice: Keep your personal philosophy to yourself. Even if you're invited to share it, go very, very carefully. Several years ago I visited a lady dying of cancer at home, doctoring this time rather than healing, and helpfully suggested that a drop of rose oil on her pillow might help lift her mood. It certainly lifted her body. She rose up off the mattress like Lazarus himself and screamed at me that she was a committed Christian, that aromatherapy was the work of the devil and to get the (heck) out of her house and never return. I was only trying to help!

You see, along our path as healers we pick up all sorts of information and techniques that are quite tempting to insert into a healing session. Take guided visualization, for example. An easy, effective and harmless exercise in accessing the subconscious. Please ensure that you know exactly what you're doing. During one of our healer training courses, we were practicing on each other. I took my fellow student on a glorious guided trip through open fields, trekked up a mountain onto a ledge and swooped off into a flight of fancy around the universe. Feedback time: "How was that?" I asked, expecting fountains of enthusiasm.

"B----y useless. I only got as far as the foot of the mountain and didn't even take my socks off - I'm scared of heights." Thankfully he had the sense to get himself back out of the visualization and leave me to it. 

I should have learned but I didn't. A gentleman came for healing and was stuck in denial. I should have left him in his defended comfort zone but no, it was obviously time for some guided visualization. "Close your eyes, take a deep breath.....Now, imagine you're in a garden.... Feel your bare feet on the ground....in front of you is a path...' He sat bolt upright in frenzied alarm. "Are you hypnotizing me?" and jumped off the couch, headed for the door and never came back.It hadn't occurred to me before but he was right, this is a form of hypnotism and as such should be practiced with permission and knowledge. I didn't really have either.

Breathing exercises are another area where I, or a participant, have run into difficulties. In a small group, I initiated an abdominal breathing and grounding exercise. Unfortunately, one of the participants took this literally and crashed onto the floor unconscious and pulseless. He turned a nasty shade of grayish blue but thankfully pinked up just before I launched into CPR. His recent coronary bypass graft had impaired his autonomic nervous system, I think. Mine was a bit impaired too, after that experience.

So remember, dear reader, that working as a healer does not confer omniscience. Know your limits and stick to them. When in doubt make sure that you refer on to other professionals - counselors, doctors, dentists, plumbers - whoever is up to the job. Healing takes many forms and requires many skills. It's a team effort and not the preserve of a chosen, enlightened few. One doctor has been completely put off referring to Complementary Therapists after a man turned up with a large malignant lump in his neck. His healer had continued treating him without referral, ignoring the lump growing bigger week after week, convinced that the healing would eventually sort it out. It didn't. 

The use or interpretation of clairvoyance during healing is a tricky one. According to the generally accepted UK Confederation of Healers Code of Conduct, a healer should never diagnose the patient's complaint in medical terms, for this is the legal remit of doctors. You can imagine the havoc wreaked if the healer gets it wrong. The Code also states that clairvoyance should not be mentioned during a healing session. This is a completely understandable precaution but unfortunately prohibits the use of genuine mediumship. One explanation given to me by a Spiritualist tutor was that the energy frequencies are different for healing and clairvoyance and therefore should not be used together, because the resulting the clairvoyance can be unreliable. I think it's more a case of the clairvoyant being less reliable than we might like - but never mind, let me continue the cautionary tale. I was at another training session and we were asked to pair up and sense our partner's aura. At the end of the exercise we took it in turns around the group to report on our findings - the usual golden glows and pink shimmers. Then it was my turn. I'd seen a picture of my partner's prostate quite clearly. "You've got a problem with your prostate" and with those words unwittingly unleashed Armageddon. The recipient jumped up off his chair in blind panic yelling "It's not cancer is it?!!!" "Er, no, it's just a bit of inflammation. You need to see your doctor." It took half an hour to calm him down while the tutor jerked into some sort of apoplectic fit and bellowed across the room -"We don't diagnose!!" "Well, you asked me to tell you what I got," "We don't diagnose! Ever! Only doctors can diagnose" "Um... I am a doctor." "What? You work in a doctor's? That's not good enough!!""No, I am a doctor." "I don't care WHO YOU ARE!! We do NOT diagnose!" Total chaos, I'm afraid. The class was abandoned but happily there was a positive outcome. It turned out that a relative of this chap had died of prostate cancer some time before and, unknown to all, he had been suffering from prostate symptoms himself for several months but had been too scared to seek help. Thankfully he made an appointment to see his doctor the next day, so in a roundabout way you could argue that it was a healing experience for him. I sought my own healing experience in the bar with a large vodka and made a solemn vow of silence.

While we're on the subject of communication skills, a tutor once told me how he instructs his probationer healers. "Most harm is done with this, " he pointed a finger to his mouth, " the gob. I tell 'em to keep shut and just get on with the healing."

This seemed a little extreme at the time but now I know where he's coming from. A lady came with deep, long-standing depression. She'd had some tests done by her doctor, including a blood count. "What are they looking for?" she asked. "Oh they're just checking to see if you're anemic or something." "Something? Like what?" "Well, it shows if you've got enough vitamins and the right number of blood cells." "What do you mean 'the right number of blood cells? " "Well, you know sometimes you can have too many blood cells." "Too many?" "Yes, like in leukemia -- sometimes you get too many blood cells in leukemia." Oh my god. She sprang to her feet and started shouting "Leukemia? You mean I've got leukemia?!" "No! No! I don't mean that!" "But you said they're looking for leukemia! Now look what you've done -- I can't get it out of my head! I can't bear it -- I feel suicidal. "I had to ring her doctor to apologize and explain the awful mess. The whole incident was a terrible but highly educational experience. 

Most healthcare professionals stumble and fall into such self-made traps at some time in their career, for it's one of the perils of working with people facing illness and death. In medical circles it's a phenomenon known as 'OGBEB' -- Opening the Gob before Engaging the Brain. Training can help prepare for eventualities but experience is sadly by far the best teacher. It is so important to negotiate boundaries relating to responsibility, personal limits and the use of time. When mutually adhered to, these cautions facilitate a healthy therapeutic relationship.

Ill people can feel very vulnerable and some become dependent on their therapist. If you feel that someone is becoming over-dependent on you, please address the problem or seek guidance from someone more experienced. This awful and extreme excerpt from 'How Not To Do Healing' happened when a healer left a place he'd been working at for some time. It was his own fault, through ignorance, that events came to this for he had neither addressed the problem nor sought help and had handed out his home phone number for patients to ring if needed. One of the patients rang the healer at home and threatened to commit suicide if he wouldn't see her again. Now I don't recommend this to anyone else, but let it serve as a warning -- he called her bluff and told her that it was entirely the patient's responsibility if she carried out the threat. A terrible night followed, tossing and turning, his head full of the national headlines and visions of being grilled alive at the inquest. Fortunately for all parties, the patient never did harm herself and is still alive and kicking -- and probably dependent on someone else. This is precisely the sort of traumatic mess you can get into if you aren't aware of the possibilities. Nip it in the bud.

Healing takes an awful lot of stamina and concentration while ill people unconsciously draw on your reserves. If you're not in good form, say "no" and protect your own interests. You're not the only healer on the planet and you're of far more use alive than dead (unless you're a Spiritualist). Don't sacrifice yourself at the altar of service to humanity - take a break and refer the patient on to someone else.

My final words of advice, dear reader, are: Consider Mentoring. I wish that a more formal structure were in place for healers in this country. True, a phone call to a colleague can help in times of crisis but for professionalism's sake never mind the preservation of your friendship. It would be better to have regular group sessions to discuss and learn from collective experience. At the very least, you'll have plenty of new friends to visit you in prison.

Dr Sheelagh Donnelly, MB.BS., Dip. Palliative Med., MNFSH works as a family physician in the UK and practiced spiritual healing as a complementary therapy for several years before realizing that she wasn't very good at it. The anecdotes in this article have been anonymized to protect the innocent. 

© Sheelagh Donnelly, November 2003

Contact:
sheelaghd@aol.com