Mary's Report - Consulting with Patricia Johnson, MD and Nina Zimbelman

by Mary

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Hi,

I will call myself "Mary" in this report of my experiences with Dr. Johnson and Nina Zimbelman.

I was diagnosed with Hepatitiss C two years ago this spring. It was over a year of doctors and specialists to find the diagnosis. A nurse practitioner who was working at our local health department (and who now works for Dr. Johnson) said, "Have you ever been tested for Hep C?" I very indignantly said "No, I'm not spending any more money on blood tests, and wild goose chases." She said, very calmly and firmly "Mary, if you have Hep C, you've probably have had it for years. If you don't find out and start doing things to take care of your liver, you may be too damn sick to get a liver transplant." My response was, "Two this afternoon would be a good time for you for that test."

She called me on Good Friday of 2000 and asked me to come in. I asked her to tell me the news now, , , She said, "I'm very sorry, Mary, but you have Hep C,.."

My life changed forever. . . I spent the next 24 hours on the Internet, freaking out. . . I went into a depression, I felt guilty, I felt ashamed my past had come back to haunt me. I had to tell my two sons, who were 18 and 24 at the time. My husband and my sons had to be tested. I couldn't believe I had brought this horror to my beloved family. I wanted to die and was terrified to die. Luckily, I had always been very honest with my husband and my sons. They knew I had used drugs in my early twenties. My first husband died at 34 of Hep C, after a long battle with drug use. I used for maybe a year, cleaned myself up. I wanted a family I wanted my life to be different. And it was...

I had spent my life dedicated to my family, our business, my friends. Then, I reached late forties and started menopause, and a doctor mentioned my liver enzymes were elevated. I have been lucky, I had never been sick, I have taken good care of myself thru the years.

I ended up at a specialist in Charlotte, who is a wonderful, caring man and we went through many tests, liver biopsies, bloodwork. The final diagnosis was, Hep C, with class three scarring. His suggestion was: Have 48 weeks of interferon, ribfiron, treatment - staggering treatment of shots in your stomach once a week, and pills daily. I read all the side effects, not a pretty picture. But, I wanted to live so on June 4^th of last year I started the program.

On June 7th I woke up screaming with terrible stomach pains, I called the clinic in Charlotte and they said, "This is not the meds. Go to the hospital."

I went to the hospital, explained what I was on and what my diagnosis was. They called two doctors who are gastroenterologists and they admitted me. I lay in the hospital for a week, with a temp from 101 to 104, on demerol, with diarrhea and vomiting. . . Just so sick, I can't explain. Dr. Stack kept saying, "This is the meds you¹re on," while the clinic kept saying, "No."

They did a colonoscopy and discharged me after one week. They said it would wear off. I was home four days, with a temp of 102 to 104. I couldn't eat, I couldn't drink, I slept constantly. My mother had passed away in January, and I had a dream one afternoon as I lay there: The phone rang and I picked it up and it was my Mom, and she said "Honey, you¹re very sick. call the doctor."

I woke up and realized I had dreamed, but I called my husband and stared to cry and said, "I don't mean to be dramatic here, but I feel like I'm dying."

He phoned and literally screamed at the doctor¹s office to help me. (He had been calling for days with no callback.)

So I had another week in the hospital, with tests, tests, and more, tests. . . They found what they called an abscess in my cecum. . . I could go on for five more pages. . . The bottom line is that my appendix had burst that night of June 7th and I never got it removed till October 23rd. . . The infection had gone into a pus pocket that they called "retro-cecal." It took me months to get back on my feet - mentally as well as physically.

I realized I had to get back on my feet, I started doing Yoga religiously, eating healthier, taking lots of vitamins. I started feeling great - physically and mentally. People saw a happy person, pretty much always up, positive. . . But inside I felt different.

A friend who had seen Dr. Johnson suggested I talk to her about alternative treatments for the Hep C. I loved the way I felt immediately when I talked to Dr. Johnson. Her words were safe, un-judgmental. I think she may have been one of the only doctors who did not ask me how I got Hep C. (If she did ask, I don't remember the experience - which I believe I recall when other doctors asked. She suggested milk thistle and an appointment with Nina. I went the following week.

I remember sitting in the room with Dr. Johnson waiting for Nina to come in and realizing for the first time I had no idea what I was about to encounter. This is very strange for me because it's been important to me in the past to "know" what's going on, what's going to happen, etc. I had no idea who Nina was, I just trusted. I had been told that Dr. Johnson believed in not only medical but holistic medicine. I again had been waiting a long time to be put on the Interferon treatment. I was feeling anxious, I kept asking doctors, "what can I be doing?" My doctor in Charlotte said, "Nothing, you¹re doing fine,,,¹" But something kept nagging at me.." I should be doing something" I should be learning more. I had learned more than I wanted to about the treatmentŠ and kept hearing little bits and pieces about "milk thistle, acupuncture, meditation, drinking gallons of water, less fatty foods. But, that old feeling of I might actually have to do my life different. . . WOW, could I???

So, I actually went, knowing nothing about Nina. . . nothing about what she would Do. I didn't know if I was getting a physical. . . But, I've learned in my old age, to go with my gut feeling, and I felt nothing but, "Yes, yes, yes, calm, accepting"

Dr. J gave Nina some background of my experience with doctors in the hospital, and being so sick. Nina smiled at me and said she felt warmth, a bright light around me. . . mentioned I'm a happy person, funny (which I am). But she saw dark in my stomach area, guilt. . .

I started to cry. . . I thought I had moved on from that long ago. But, as soon as Nina said those words, the emotion was there. She talked to me about how what I did is what I did. It made me who I am. Who I am is someone that I love and enjoy, someone who is loved, and valued by others. She said I will know by June if I want to continue the treatment, that I will just know. She added that if I can learn to forgive myself, she believed I wouldn't need to make that decision.

She kept mentioning my stomach area. As I think of my life I think of this volcano erupting, years of sorrow, years of guilt, not letting go, holding in, swallowing it all down. Even the surgery was not enough. Many people have mentioned to me I always had my hand on my stomach, holding my stomach in. I look back now and I think holding it in, after years it took the grip of my hand to hold it all in.

Nina's words of kindness, straightforwardness, encouragement.. kindly saying to me, "It's okay. You¹re okay. This is growing in you, hurting all that surrounds it. . . Let it go. . .

So, I drink my gallon of water, I walk my miles, I do my yoga, I quiet my mind, I take my milk thistle, I'm considering acupuncture, I eat healthy, and I smile, and I love, and I accept and I am grateful.

I do feel that I have finally forgiven myself, I finally get it - that who I am and what I have done has made me exactly who I am. . . Someone that I'm very proud of. . . My experience with those two women that day, changed my life forever. I no longer look down when someone asks me what I have, or how I got it. I look them in the eye, not with attitude but with heart. Not bragging, but what is, is. I'm in better health at this point in my life than I ever have been before. I'm sustaining a weight that I always wanted, too. I'm feel complete. I wouldn't change anything, not one thing.

My sons and my husband all tested negative, but of course they would, because this is about me, my journey.

Mary

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