My Grandfather's Blessings: Stories of Strength, Refuge, and Belonging

by Rachel Naomi Remen, MD

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New York, Riverhead/Penguin/Putnam 2000 $14.00

This is a wonderful collection of lovely,-warm, thought-provoking stories from a pioneer in addressing the wholistic needs of people with cancer. Dr. Remen has suffered from severe bowel disease herself, so she comes from the place of the wounded healer, appreciating healing through her own life journey. This is a chicken soup for the person with challenging life situations and for caregivers.

For example, Dr. Remen shares:

A woman with metastatic cancer once told me that through the experienceof her illness she had discovered a basic truth. There are only two kinds of people in this world – those who are alive and those who are alive and those who are afraid. She had smiled at me and said that many of the people she had met who were afraid were doctors.

Perhaps such fear is a natural outcome of the wish to be in control. A patient whose physician told him several years go that he had three months to live told me in bewilderment that the doctor had seemed "satisfied" as he made this heart-stopping statement, "He seemed sorry to be telling me this but he seemed pleased that he had the information to give me, almost as pleased as if he had told me that he had the right drug to eradicate my cancer. He told me of my death with an air of authority as if it were he who had decided when it would be and in doing so had somehow gained mastery over it. As if when he could not control my cancer, he could at least control the time of my death. I was angry for a long time, but I now think he was as out of control and vulnerable as I was. Too bad we could not have talked man to man on that level instead of reaching for a false certainty."

Excellent for a slow, bedside read, and for inspiring careseekers to find hope and inspiration in dealing with their health and life challenges.

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