The Forgiveness Solution

by Philip Friedman

Download PDF

Return to Master Book Reviews Table of Contents

San Francisco, CA:.Conari Press 2009  52 pages  $16.95   

The Forgiveness Solution is not a book to read, as much as it is a journey to experience.  Most of the book consists of exercises designed to connect the reader with his or her own true Self or Inner Being, mapping out the pathways form fear to love.  Friedman’s basic philosophy is summed up here:  A lifetime of personal and spiritual growth and practicing psychotherapy has led me to understand that underneath all distressing emotions is the core emotion of fear, which is itself a lack of love.  Love is the core positive emotion that we experience when we are connected to our inner Being or true Self.  When we feel separate from our inner Being or true Self, we experience fear. … The essence of our Being is love, and our journey through life is a quest to return to our core, which is love (page 49). 

He draws on perspectives and techniques from transpersonal psychology, spiritual healing, energy medicine, visualizations, and forgiveness research to create a comprehensive protocol for emotional and/or mental distress.  Each exercise assists the reader in releasing fear, anger, judgment, scorn, blame and so on, making room for love and light.  Personally speaking, Friedman’s perspective makes a lot of sense and it seems to cut through a lot of psychological complexity that may bog us down on our journeys.  Sad?  Angry? Confused?  Bitter?  Afraid?  Use forgiveness of self and others to get rid of all the garbage that obscures your beauty, allowing your natural joy, love, and light to shine forth.  The underlying simplicity of Friedman’s approach will appeal to those readers who are no longer interested in trying to analyze the roots of their pain, and wish instead to simply step into the present in a joyful way.  Once we can really internalize that “every communication is either an expression of love or a call for love” (page 5o), our relationships can begin to evolve, long-time grudges can dissolve, wounds can heal, and we can learn to love unconditionally, starting with ourselves.
 
However, it must be said that readers of The Forgiveness Solution must be able and willing to devote some time and effort to actually doing the exercises on a regular basis – affirmations, visualizations, self-acupressure, emotional freedom technique sequences, letter writing, journaling and prayer.  Just sitting down and leafing through the book will probably not result in any meaningful shifts.  But for people who are really motivated to make changes in their life – releasing fear and embracing love – this book could be exactly what the doctor ordered. Practicing psychiatrists, psychologists, therapists and counselors will find this book a treasure trove of useful exercises that they can prescribe to their patients and clients, helping to shift the focus from the therapeutic process to producing real results by connecting people with their capacity to love self and others.
Blessings,

Review by Elizabeth MacKenzie, PhD
Lecturer in the Health and Societies Program
University of Pennsylvania
Fellow of the Center for Spirituality and the Mind

Return to Master Book Reviews Table of Contents